I’d like you to meet one of my feline clients, Bolero, also known as Bo.
4.5 year old Bo was happily living with his human mom and her new husband. Unfortunately, the husband discovered he was allergic to cats and something needed to be done. The humans discussed available options, keeping Bo’s best interest and well being in mind. They came up with what appeared to be the perfect solution – Bo would go live with his human mom’s mom.
Now Bo had two moms, both who loved him and only wanted what was best for Bo. Lucky boy!
Everything would have gone according to plan except for one tiny matter….there was a 10 year old resident cat, Pablo, at the house. Pablo considered the house his sanctuary and he was not willing to share his house, family (particularly Mom) or anything he considered his with an intruder.
When Pablo decided to take matters into his own paws, a pissing match ensued.
I’m At My Wit’s End!
As tends to happen in my line of business, my human client contacted me at her wit’s ends, having tried everything to get the marking to stop.
Her cat, Pablo, was mad and was throwing hissy fits, creating chaos in the house. Both cats, particularly Pablo, were marking their territory. Pablo went so far as to show his displeasure by peeing in the fruit bowl on the counter.
The humans took responsible action: having both cats checked for UTIs, giving the cats their own litter boxes in separate places, keeping the litter boxes cleaned, feeding the cats in separate places, keeping them either under supervision or separated, cleaning urine spots immediately afterwards and replacing the carpeting.
The Cats Speak
My human client scheduled a communication session. Both cats were relieved and quite willing to talk and happy to be heard. Within 2 minutes of our conversation, it was abundantly clear that both cats wanted to be only cats and Bo was willing to be rehomed.
The rest of the session was spent helping my human client come to terms with what the cats had requested, what that meant logistically and most of all helping her come to terms with the guilt and inadequacy she was experiencing. Both my human client and her daughter hold the deep rooted belief that when you make a commitment to an animal, it’s a lifetime commitment. My job was to help her understand that in honoring both cats wishes, neither she nor her daughter were failures but were respecting the cats as sentient beings.
Not an easy thing to do.
It’s so much more trouble-free for us humans to live under the illusion that we are entitled to make decisions which affect the animals living with us without first consulting them. When we make those decisions unilaterally, we make it easy on ourselves to ignore the grief, anger or heartbreak we may be inflicting on the animals.
The Logistics of Rehoming Bo
The session turned to how best to support the cats in their current situation of sharing a home and how to start the process of looking for a new home for Bo.
It was difficult for my human client to discuss the rehoming process. Not only was she dealing with her own feelings, she was worried about the process itself, the length of time it could take to find an appropriate home for Bo and how all of that would effect her daughter and the cats.
My client lives in Minnesota, my old stomping grounds. I was able to give her quite a few names of agencies and vet clinics that she could contact for help. In the meantime, I started contacting other communicators and folks I personally know who might be looking for a cat or know of someone who might be looking for a cat and was willing to consider Bo on his terms.
Enter Mom #3
When we started talking about rehoming Bo, one of my personal friend’s name kept coming to mind. I ignored that nudge for awhile because she was not sure she was ready to be a cat mom again. I decided to follow up on the nudge and contact her anyway; she said she would get back to me.
When we next spoke, I told her of Bo’s situation and gave her my client’s contact information. They connected and arrangements were made for Bo, his two moms and his potential third mom to meet.
It was love at first sight! Bo’s two moms approved of my friend and her living situation. Bo approved of everything and everyone, strutting around like he knew exactly what was happening, which of course, he did. My friend succumbed to Bo’s many charms.
Now Bo has three moms, all who love him and only want what is best for him. Lucky boy!
When Forever Is Not Forever
While all three moms were rejoicing at Bo’s new homecoming, it was also bittersweet with many tears being shed. Particularly Bo’s first mom was having a difficult time, even though she knew it was in Bo’s best interest and was the best solution for all.
It’s difficult, ever so difficult, to give up your beloved animal pal, even when you know it is necessary and is the best for all in the long run. How do you say good-bye when your heart is breaking?
As I told Bo’s three moms, I believe grieving a death is easier than grieving a rehoming.
Bo was adamant that his three moms stay in contact with each other. He was adamant that the door stay open with connections and he wants his new mom #3 to send pictures back to moms #1 and #2. He wants moms #1 and #2 to check in with mom #3.
My heart soars at how, within 72 hours, all of this has turned out for the best of all involved. This is one of those cases where it was simply meant to be. The humans got out of the way and let timing, synchronicity, the universe, whatever you want to call it do its thing.
And all of this happening on Valentine’s Day – can you imagine?
Mom #3 is keeping Bo’s name, just changing the spelling to Beau. Now she has a Beau for Valentine’s Day!
Here’s to New Beginnings,