What About Staying With Animals As They Are Dying?
I was in an online conversation the other day where someone was getting reamed out because they had not been able to be with their dog during his last moments.They had taken the dog to the vet and waited in the waiting room as the final injection was given. The person was distraught and heart broken over this….not only the death of the dog, but the shame they were heaping upon themselves, feeling they had failed the dog.
I was dumbfounded at the tone of the comments. They were, IMO, vitriolic at best, based on assumptions and snap judgments rather than empathy and listening.
Comments included “How could you do that?” “You don’t deserve to have a dog”, “I would never do anything like that to an animal I loved”.
And so on.
For whatever reason I stayed there, reading those awful comments.
Comments like that cause hurt, while simultaneously allowing the commenter to feel superior.
IMO. Just sayin’……..
But I’m not here to talk about what makes a comment good or bad. I want to talk about our relationship with our own animal family members.
My Ruminations
#1
A basic truism: On the whole, we are illiterate when it comes to death and dying. Instead of accepting it as a natural part of life, we are taught it’s taboo and to furtively navigate it with minimal, if any support. Few of us have learned how ordinary death is and worthy of community support. This is especially true when it comes to acknowledging the death of animals.
Keeping that in mind, it makes perfect sense the woman was not able to be with her animal companion. Imagine how difficult it would be to be with them during that final injection if you feel the reason they’re here is because you’ve failed them.
When a person can’t be with their loved one ar that time, chances are quite good it doesn’t mean they don’t love them, it simply means, for whatever reason they aren’t able to stay in the room as the animal is “put to sleep”.
And that reason is not for social media to judge.
#2
Another basic truism: if you’ve lived day in and day out with an animal for years, they already know how you feel about them! You’ve shown them over and over throughout the years! Your feelings for each other was established since Day 1 and has only developed and expanded since then.
#3
One more basic truism: In Rainbow Bridge Communications I’ve held throughout the years, some animals have told me having their person in the room when they don’t want to be there makes it harder for the animal to cross the Rainbow Bridge. They are torn between doing what they know is their next step and staying with their person to care for them.
How do these ruminations sit with you? If I can help you work through this as you’re perhaps preparing for an animal family member’s passing or remembering a time when you wish you had done things differently, let’s talk. Below is the link for the first step in the journey.
My work is centered in animism and the deep, embodied knowing we all do better when ALL creatures do better. Animals and humans are kin, sentient beings with their own agency, not pets and owners. Sessions are a safe space for you both to communicate what you need each other to hear at that given time.
I am honored to accompany you and the animals on your very unique and special journey.
